So, since they’re twins, are they just totally alike?

No.

Because it takes the Earth a little longer than a year to travel around the sun (365 days, 5 hours, 48 minutes, and 46 seconds, to be exact) an extra day was added to the calendar to make up for lost time. (Ha. Ha. Get it?)

“I mark the hours every one nor have I yet outrun the sun. My use and value unto you are gauged by what you have to do.”

Me? I’m ready for March. Read more

Worst cold and flu season. Ever. To be continued from the Sunday Post – the muppets are sick again.

To be fair, this is only the second one they’ve endured. And that whole preemie thing put us mostly in isolation for the last one – minus the doctor visits for RSV shots and ER runs for the sniffles when Mommy panicked. So we don’t really have a HUGE comparison.

So, being the wild child(s) we are, we enrolled the muppets in daycare. Because nothing says maturity like a runny nose lasting five months. Straight. Read more

The group text read, “I just want to let you all know how special you really are…I shaved my legs for you guys. My husband’s pretty jealous.”

Did you miss me this weekend? Some of the mama’s made an escape to wine country. Sans kiddos. Read more

I climb the walls of my mind just like I’m climbing on a jungle gym. I am more than content with the
state of mind I am in ’cause I am crazy just like you
I am crazy just like you.

According to results of a study released today, women with a history of migraines are up to 41 percent more likely to develop depression than those lucky enough to avoid the plague of debilitating headaches. Read more

Are you reading A Nervous Tic Motion Yet? You should be. I write a weekly column there – Wineconed Wednesdays. You know you want to throw some. And I would really love for you to join in!

Ash Wednesday. Also known as that day when you do a double take at all the people wandering around and refrain from gesturing at your forehead and saying, “Hey, um, you got smudgey stuff.” Read more

SEARCH AND DESTROY ALL THE FOOD STUFFS!

The muppets can Pack. It. Down. Here is a sampling of our weekend menu. (As a reminder, Destroy weighs 28 pounds; Search is 23.) I do not know where they are putting it. Read more

We have dogs. Two of them. A yellow one and a black one.

Remember the 90s cartoon “Pinky and the Brain”? Genetically engineered mice – one brilliant and sly, scheming for world domination. The other desperate to be loved, but may have missed a few days when intelligence was being handed out. Their standard dialogue:
Pinky: “Gee, Brain, what do you want to do tonight?”
The Brain: “The same thing we do every night, Pinky—try to take over the world!”

Read more

I’ve got lots of ideas.

And I keep coming up with more. I won’t hold back on you – I think my ideas are pretty swell. Read more

I am, I am, I am Superman and I know what’s happening.
I am, I am, I am Superman and I can do anything.

I went to lunch with a friend recently. “Holy shit, you’re wearing real clothes!” 90% of the time I see you, you’re in ratty sweatpants with barf/poo stained t-shirt or sweatshirt,” he exclaimed. Read more