Toddler Stream of Conscious
Stream of consciousness refers to the uninhibited flow of sense‐perceptions, thoughts, feelings, and memories within our minds. We all have an internal monologue that guides us through our days. (Mine is the narrator of a novel just begging to be written. Are you surprised?)
Toddlers allegedly have one as well. I’ve often wondered what it is they’re thinking – given the hamster wheel in their head has the attention span of an ADD goldfish.
Destroy hasn’t quite figured out the “internal” part of that monologue concept yet. So, for your viewing pleasure (and because it just seems appropriate for this blog), I wrote down part of yesterday evening’s narrative. As you read, please remember – this kid Never. Stops. Moving.
Dinner. No. Special please.
I want shoes off. All done. Socks off. <Pulls on sock until he falls over backwards>
Doggie! Hi doggie!
Blalubberlubber ledbetter (Is my kid singing Pearl Jam?)
SHARKBAIT! OOH AH AH! No. I watch the Cars?
<Hears airplane overhead> Daddy took away. Daddy went away, Scout. Daddy in the airplane.
No, no bath. BROOM! <Begins “sweeping” floor>
AAAIIIIIIEEEEEE!!! <Pretty sure glass shattered in several locales. Cardboard boxes crash>
Scout’s climbing. I climb. Scout’s in my chair.
<Sees tricycle> My bike! <Runs around corner to bathroom screaming again like a banshee>
Potty! Water! <Points to bathtub> Water come down. I go in the water.
Mommee. Mommee. Hi mommy.
Pants OFF. Diaper off.
I pee pee in the potty. No, not in the potty. All done.
Ooh – Mommy’s cup. <Picks up yellow plastic wash cup. Dumps water over bathroom floor>
BUBBLE FACE! <Sticks face in water. Glurgle glurgle> I do bubble face!
<Picks up red crab bath toy> Search’s octopus!
I poop the water, Mommy. I do BUBBLE FACE! <Gets yanked out of water right quick. Thankfully he had not actually “pooped the water”>
No diaper. I throw pull-up in the trash. My pull-up. Garbage. <Naked toddler sprints across living room>
My towel. Not. Your. NOT YOUR! NOOOO! MOMMEE – brother push. Bonk the head. I bonk his head. Brother push me. Search push me. <To be fair, his brother pushed him away after getting bonked on the head by a toy. So Destroy totally deserved that>
No want diaper. NO WANT! <Mommy won that wrestling match>
<Singing> Clean up. Clean Up. Clean up in the classroom… <Toys being flung into toy box>
Book! I read. No, Mommy read book. Phone away, Mommy. Mommy! Phone. Away.
<Climbs up on couch> Sit on couch. <Pats couch> Move Mommy. <Hands me remote> Watch Cars.
Look! Big truck. Tractor. Watch Cars, Mommy.
MOMMY WATCH! I JUMP!
Brother: Uh oh…