Given the title of this post, I’m sure you will be utterly SHOCKED to hear that one of the little men became so overwhelmed with the excitement of Christmas that he regurgitated yesterday’s breakfast.

I think his brother, Destroy, was just thankful Santa hadn’t stolen his soul in the dark of night. Read more

There have been murmurings that “A Year Without Santa Claus” is the best Christmas cartoon out there. Fear not, good people, I am here to reassure you such a ridiculous claim is patently false.

Obviously such accolades belong to the one true story of Christmas. “A Charlie Brown Christmas.” Read more

Merry Christmas to all fellow fighters in need of caffeine!

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
All the creatures were stirring – likely including a mouse.
(Or rather a rat, but with traps he wouldn’t have a very merry Christmas moment.
Bah Humbug rodent!) Read more

I like boots. They are my favorite winter footwear. (These boots were made for walking and all.) Black boots, brown boots, high heels, riding boots. (Dear Santa, I presently have a thing for red cowboy boots.)

I have clearly passed my love of shoes onto my children. Read more

This was the final week of the winter session’s gymnastics class. (NASTICS!)

We’ll be going back next round. Because Destroy is a big fan. Search seems like he could take it or leave it. (The ever adorable Coach Teresa deemed Search “a good listener” and Destroy “very enthusiastic.” Yeah, I can read between the lines too.) But where else could Destroy hurl himself off raised beams and yell, “Mommy! I’m up high!”

Oh right. At home. Read more

Conversation from last night. Verbatim. Read more

It’s been freezing. At least at night. The heater in our house is set to a chilly 65 fire-up, ever since I had a tantrum and staged a one-woman war against PG&E. Outside there was even hail. That is frozen rain. (Shut up all you non-Californians who have actually experienced snow/sleet/freezing rain.)

And also my feet were freezing; therefore it was cold. Read more

Last night I put a feverish Destroy to bed. This morning I hugged him tight and asked how he was doing. He wanted to watch Mickey Mouse. And when you’re recovering from a fever of 103.5, you get whatever you want. (Thems the rules in my house.)

I turned on the TV in search of the Disney Jr. channel. But the news caught my attention.

There had been a school shooting. Read more

I know many of you hate receiving these yearly accolades neatly condensed into a single letter – complete with stationary bearing the appropriate winter motif.

(And we went with the fantasy of silvery snowflakes like a good California family.) Quite frankly, if you’re still reading by this paragraph, you’re probably at least a little curious. Or you’re going to forward to all your friends with an accompanying mocking cynicism.

Too bad. I wrote one anyway.

Read more