I opened the green binder to sign the boys out of school. And there was the ominous folded sheet paper.

The Xeroxed Incident/Accident report. With “Incident” prominently circled. Oh goodie. Read more

You’re probably at the mall.

For I have seen the Gates of Hell. And they bear the sign, “Valley Fair.”

Whoever coined the phrase “If you’re going through hell, keep on going…” was obviously at the mall when inspiration hit. Read more

You know that scene at the end of Jerry Maguire – where the little boy hurls the baseball over the fence?

Yeah. That’s my kid. Except substitute shoe and roof for the ball and fence. Read more

For those curious, it is not possible to flush an entire roll of toilet paper down the toilet – cardboard roll and all. Even if you climb into the bowl to help shove it down.  Read more

“Don’t you wish you could…” is not a concept present in the mind of a child.

It is truly amazing to watch little ones discover the world – unencumbered and uninhibited by impossibilities. They don’t wish they could. They just do. For better or worse. Read more

Destroy may physically be a carbon copy of his father, but lately it appears my genes have been making an appearance.

Tantrums abound. And I may have been a wee bit difficult (and/or incoherently irrational) as a small (midsize and large) child. Read more

I truly believe we should be able to give life a timeout if so deserved. I need one from being an adult.

So if you need me, I will be in my blanket fort, coloring. I promise to willingly retreat to my room for nap when the clock strikes 12. Read more

The boys want nothing to do with the potty. Rather they seem to be quite enamored with going through 3,000 diapers per year.

So we ordered books. (Because heretoforth those “What To Expect” how-to guides have always served us so well…) Read more

So…this was my night. How was yours? Read more

Last week I had to make a return trip to the psychiatrist. Every now and then the docs like to re-evaluate my medication to keep me from going completely crazy. Since it was my first visit with this particular MD, I had to fill out the anxiety/depression questionnaire. Read more